Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Grad school in CAIRO or MALIBU, hired on base, g/f visiting Europe!!!

Today was amazing: I found out I got accepted into Pepperdine University (in MALIBU baby!!!), and also accepted into American University in Cairo, and I finally got a job on the military base!


I just got accepted (like 15 min ago) to Pepperdine University in MALLIIBBUUUUUU <3333

The campus <333

And I just found this morning that I was accepted into the American University in Cairo!

American University in Cairo campus. Not as flashy, but still pretty boss.
 This pic that I stole from their website...
 Im not trying to advertise for them and tell you to apply now

About 10 days ago, I found out I was accepted to a school in Monterey, California at the Monterey Institute of International Studies!
It's a really exciting time, and really crazy, because the course of my life can change rather quick, with a simple email from a school.

Monterey, California
 I also applied to the Peace Corps, and with Monterey's program that I got into, they would allow me to go to grad school for one year, Peace Corps for 2, then one more year at Monterey half price.

I still have to hear back from the American University in Beirut., the last school I'm waiting on.

My choices:

It's funny that out of the choices I have left are in TOTALLY opposite places. What kind of normal person applies to schools in the Middle East and schools on the gorgeous California coastline??

This guy, apparently.


K, so its a little bit hard to get hired on base if you are a civilian. Or, at least I would like to tell myself that since I just got rejected from a job at Baskin Robbins.. (still unfathomable)... 

because, as you may have seen on my fb status, "another qualified applicant" got the job. WTF!? I have a college degree!!

Well, after applying all around, I am pleased to have been hired today as a server at Chili's! woooo

That news is rather timely, because after all, Istanbul won't pay for itself.


Oh, excuuUUUUuse me, but I forgot to mention, momma told us that she's booking us tickets to Istanbul! Should be pretty ill. I don't know what to expect, but that country should start getting ready for me.

Also, I will be heading to Madrid and Paris, because my slampiece will be visiting me over here! Oh, woops, I mean.. girlfriend.


us near San Fran last year

So, this is gonna be epic. Basically, she is doing a Euro trip with her friends after graduating and... well, DUH, that means were gonna get to have a date below the Eiffel Tower!!

How fucking nuts is that??

Super nuts, I KNOW.

Our story is awesome: 

We met at a club in Chicago when visiting for a dance competition. I memorize her number because I lost my phone, remember her number in the morning (after drinking so much the previous night that I can not even remember how the night ended), went to visit her a few weeks later in Pittsburgh where she goes to school, then had our first date in New York City, then visited her at her internship in San Francisco, then she came to Delaware, then I visited her at her home in Dirty Jers.

We have been separated here and there, and had some rough times, but nothing is perfect. So here we are, happy together now and enjoying the moment :)

As I was saying.. now we will be hitting up the clubs of Madrid, having a date below the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and strolling the little towns in Germany holding hands.


Okay... if this day gets any more awesome, I'm going to explode. I'm going to go to bed now and let clouds float me off to Malibu...

Then maybe explode or some shit, because I dont care, eff that, my life is awesome!!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Naked ass-massage, world's best bar, and fratting hard in Budapest


These are the kind of encounters you get when you do something stupid (aka awesome) like get a tattoo on your ass:

When I got to my massage, the lady tells me to lay on my stomach, so I go for it. She starts massaging my legs, but the higher she gets, she starts putting her hand up my boxers on to my butt. I'm enjoying the hilarity of this being her professional job, so all is well.

Then she starts on my back, and when she gets to my butt, she just decides to pull down my boxers to the bottom of my butt cheeks. All I'm thinking is "what an experience."

Then I start laughing very hard a minute later, and she pauses because.. well, I forgot about the tattoo. And I cant imagine many people in Hungary have one there. I feel the need to explain myself, or mention it, or else it would be awkward, right?

So I say to her... "Do a lot of people have this?" Then I start pointing to my right buttcheek. She doesnt really speak English.. so I could tell by her response that she thought I was asking if she pulls down everybody's boxers. I clarify, and then realize that I forgot my tattoo is on my left buttcheek (its not like I see it every day) and kind of rephrase the question.

She gets it, and starts laughing, as she continues to work my butt, and it was awkward. Like, family-dinner-at-the-Fockers- kind of awkward.

Then she tells me to turn over, so I am laying normal, with my chest up. Then she starts to massage my legs again, and she is getting dangerously close to my package. Im sure it was normal, but I got a horrible sense of anxiety that I hope I don't get a boner. Not that I was attracted to her, but then all I could think about was boners,  precisely because I did not want to get one.

Anyway, I succeeded. No boner. I win.

Once I get out, my brother and I continue to get stared at because all men are in speedo's except us two, and basically, there almost wasn't an odd moment the entire time. Zero people spoke English, so I had to use my spanish to talk to one of the ladies who worked there to explain how it all worked.

Case and point - go to a foreign country and get a massage if you want an odd experience.


 From the outside, it looked like a shitty building with broken glass, graffiti, and funny lights. We walked through this shady ass entrance to what looked like a hipsters paradise. Essentially, they slopped together an old antique shop and mashed it with colored lights and threw it all into an old building that was bombed in World War II. 

Basically, what Im trying to say is that it was right up our alley and we were interested, so we went in. It was a real hoot.

world's #3 bar? Thats what they say.

It was unique: dangling lights strung like a retard put them around your house on Christmas, a dingy atmosphere, and streaming 1940's silent films. All combined to make a lovely night.

 It was weird as hell, but apparently its a tradition in Budapest to eat carrots while drinking beer. I didn't really catch all of what this carrot-selling lady had to say, but being the gentleman I was, I decided to buy one for me, jay, and some other guy who didnt't seem at all interested in having one.


I was bro'ing out sooooo hard. So hard bro. 

Ball so hard.


Workin' it outside the fratcastle

Jay and I discussing politics over the city.

Pretty much a kid on Christmas morning at the sight of these babes. Are you serious??

Right now, my life is cray. I don't have it all figured out but here's to it. Because I'm not stopping my running, and determined to live a life that is full. MAKE THAT SHIT FULL

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I travel to Belgium in search of a Belgian Waffle

Best idea mom ever had.

 She says "Tom, do you want to go to Belgium tomorrow for breakfast? They are home of the Belgian waffle." I couldnt hardly contain my excitement because of the jestfulness of such an endeavor.

How silly of me to have never put two and two together.

this is the heaven that was awaiting my mouth at the restaurant

 Here's the family, pre-waffle domination

waffle domination.

does this not look like the best food ever? It was.


Now OBVIOUSLY, no other country has ever beaten the U.S. in anything, BUT...

 if I am to make almost one exception - it would be Belgium and give them a prize for their beer. Because, if they had beer back in Jesus' time, he would have likely drank that instead of wine.

Jesus drinking beer. TFM.

Anyway, we toured this old school style beer factory - I mean, these folks bottle their beer in wooden barrels still. How boss is that? 

It receives the Tom Ford Thumb of Approval
elder Ford and I amongst the many barrels o' brew. happy as could be.

Jay and I pounding a brew from some dude who brews his own beer somewhere. 

The Famous Site:

As a side note, how funny is it that the only thing famous
to Brussels is a 1 foot high statue of a little kid
grabbing his
wanker and pissing?

Here's another one for you freaks who wanna see it up closer.

So, that concludes my trip:

 Beer... Waffles... and a Little Man pissing his heart out in front of thousands of cameras a year.

Then we went to Budapest, Hungary and just got back. We had a hell of a time drinking at what are rated the best bars in the world. What a claim. I had to check it out for myself.

Thats the next blog.

I love you all dearly.