Naked ass-massage, world's best bar, and fratting hard in Budapest

NAKIE MASSAGE:

These are the kind of encounters you get when you do something stupid (aka awesome) like get a tattoo on your ass:


When I got to my massage, the lady tells me to lay on my stomach, so I go for it. She starts massaging my legs, but the higher she gets, she starts putting her hand up my boxers on to my butt. I'm enjoying the hilarity of this being her professional job, so all is well.

Then she starts on my back, and when she gets to my butt, she just decides to pull down my boxers to the bottom of my butt cheeks. All I'm thinking is "what an experience."

Then I start laughing very hard a minute later, and she pauses because.. well, I forgot about the tattoo. And I cant imagine many people in Hungary have one there. I feel the need to explain myself, or mention it, or else it would be awkward, right?

So I say to her... "Do a lot of people have this?" Then I start pointing to my right buttcheek. She doesnt really speak English.. so I could tell by her response that she thought I was asking if she pulls down everybody's boxers. I clarify, and then realize that I forgot my tattoo is on my left buttcheek (its not like I see it every day) and kind of rephrase the question.

She gets it, and starts laughing, as she continues to work my butt, and it was awkward. Like, family-dinner-at-the-Fockers- kind of awkward.

Then she tells me to turn over, so I am laying normal, with my chest up. Then she starts to massage my legs again, and she is getting dangerously close to my package. Im sure it was normal, but I got a horrible sense of anxiety that I hope I don't get a boner. Not that I was attracted to her, but then all I could think about was boners,  precisely because I did not want to get one.

Anyway, I succeeded. No boner. I win.


Once I get out, my brother and I continue to get stared at because all men are in speedo's except us two, and basically, there almost wasn't an odd moment the entire time. Zero people spoke English, so I had to use my spanish to talk to one of the ladies who worked there to explain how it all worked.

Case and point - go to a foreign country and get a massage if you want an odd experience.

WORLDS #3 RANKED BAR:

 From the outside, it looked like a shitty building with broken glass, graffiti, and funny lights. We walked through this shady ass entrance to what looked like a hipsters paradise. Essentially, they slopped together an old antique shop and mashed it with colored lights and threw it all into an old building that was bombed in World War II. 

Basically, what Im trying to say is that it was right up our alley and we were interested, so we went in. It was a real hoot.

world's #3 bar? Thats what they say.

It was unique: dangling lights strung like a retard put them around your house on Christmas, a dingy atmosphere, and streaming 1940's silent films. All combined to make a lovely night.

Oops.

 It was weird as hell, but apparently its a tradition in Budapest to eat carrots while drinking beer. I didn't really catch all of what this carrot-selling lady had to say, but being the gentleman I was, I decided to buy one for me, jay, and some other guy who didnt't seem at all interested in having one.

FRATTING HARD IN BUDAPEST:

I was bro'ing out sooooo hard. So hard bro. 

Ball so hard.

Fords.

Workin' it outside the fratcastle

Jay and I discussing politics over the city.

Pretty much a kid on Christmas morning at the sight of these babes. Are you serious??

Right now, my life is cray. I don't have it all figured out but here's to it. Because I'm not stopping my running, and determined to live a life that is full. MAKE THAT SHIT FULL