Friday, June 8, 2012

Searching for love in Paris

Here is my most recent journal entry that I just wrote down on the back of an envelope since I didn't bring my journal. I don't usually put these up, but what the hell:

I'm on the train right now heading to see Mrittika, and although I am excited, I am not sure how to feel. We go so often without seeing each other that I feel like I'm usually in a state of 'lets see how it goes...'

Will the spark between us come back?

Will we reignite and reconnect? Or will we just continue on?

It's not that we have lost something the past few months separated from each other, it's just that we've been lacking something. It's that crucial physical component of just sharing the dynamic of being with one another.

Something unique I love about us is that we have always settled back into that pretty quickly and found our magic. I am hopefully we will find our magic again. And shoot, if we can't find it while roaming Paris, and passing by Rome, then its lost.

That's the good thing about love; it's tough to fake.

Another beautiful thing about it is that you can't know if its real until you're actually with the person. You need to be in their physical presence to find out. There's just no substitute. What I mean is, the past few days, I've been trying to think about the excitement I will have, but I wont actually know if what we have is still there until I go and see her.

I think maybe that's why love is about taking risks

You have to go and search, and look and go for what you really want. Not much worthwhile in life just falls into your lap and kindly stays there and it always good, easy, and accessible.

No, you gotta work for it. Well, I can tell you one thing - no one can ever tell me in my life that I'm not going out and going after things I want. Isn't that the American Dream? It is. And I'm living it - in Paris.

I'm searching for love in Paris.

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