Grad school in CAIRO or MALIBU, hired on base, g/f visiting Europe!!!

Today was amazing: I found out I got accepted into Pepperdine University (in MALIBU baby!!!), and also accepted into American University in Cairo, and I finally got a job on the military base!

GRAD SCHOOLS:

I just got accepted (like 15 min ago) to Pepperdine University in MALLIIBBUUUUUU <3333

The campus <333

And I just found this morning that I was accepted into the American University in Cairo!

American University in Cairo campus. Not as flashy, but still pretty boss.
 This pic that I stole from their website...
 Im not trying to advertise for them and tell you to apply now

About 10 days ago, I found out I was accepted to a school in Monterey, California at the Monterey Institute of International Studies!
It's a really exciting time, and really crazy, because the course of my life can change rather quick, with a simple email from a school.

Monterey, California

 I also applied to the Peace Corps, and with Monterey's program that I got into, they would allow me to go to grad school for one year, Peace Corps for 2, then one more year at Monterey half price.

I still have to hear back from the American University in Beirut., the last school I'm waiting on.

My choices:

It's funny that out of the choices I have left are in TOTALLY opposite places. What kind of normal person applies to schools in the Middle East and schools on the gorgeous California coastline??

This guy, apparently.

JOB ON THE MILITARY BASE:

K, so its a little bit hard to get hired on base if you are a civilian. Or, at least I would like to tell myself that since I just got rejected from a job at Baskin Robbins.. (still unfathomable)... 

because, as you may have seen on my fb status, "another qualified applicant" got the job. WTF!? I have a college degree!!

Well, after applying all around, I am pleased to have been hired today as a server at Chili's! woooo

That news is rather timely, because after all, Istanbul won't pay for itself.

UPCOMING TRAVELING:

Oh, excuuUUUUuse me, but I forgot to mention, momma told us that she's booking us tickets to Istanbul! Should be pretty ill. I don't know what to expect, but that country should start getting ready for me.

Also, I will be heading to Madrid and Paris, because my slampiece will be visiting me over here! Oh, woops, I mean.. girlfriend.

GIRLFRIEND VISITING:

us near San Fran last year

So, this is gonna be epic. Basically, she is doing a Euro trip with her friends after graduating and... well, DUH, that means were gonna get to have a date below the Eiffel Tower!!

How fucking nuts is that??

Super nuts, I KNOW.

Our story is awesome: 

We met at a club in Chicago when visiting for a dance competition. I memorize her number because I lost my phone, remember her number in the morning (after drinking so much the previous night that I can not even remember how the night ended), went to visit her a few weeks later in Pittsburgh where she goes to school, then had our first date in New York City, then visited her at her internship in San Francisco, then she came to Delaware, then I visited her at her home in Dirty Jers.

We have been separated here and there, and had some rough times, but nothing is perfect. So here we are, happy together now and enjoying the moment :)

As I was saying.. now we will be hitting up the clubs of Madrid, having a date below the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and strolling the little towns in Germany holding hands.

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Okay... if this day gets any more awesome, I'm going to explode. I'm going to go to bed now and let clouds float me off to Malibu...

Then maybe explode or some shit, because I dont care, eff that, my life is awesome!!

Naked ass-massage, world's best bar, and fratting hard in Budapest

NAKIE MASSAGE:

These are the kind of encounters you get when you do something stupid (aka awesome) like get a tattoo on your ass:


When I got to my massage, the lady tells me to lay on my stomach, so I go for it. She starts massaging my legs, but the higher she gets, she starts putting her hand up my boxers on to my butt. I'm enjoying the hilarity of this being her professional job, so all is well.

Then she starts on my back, and when she gets to my butt, she just decides to pull down my boxers to the bottom of my butt cheeks. All I'm thinking is "what an experience."

Then I start laughing very hard a minute later, and she pauses because.. well, I forgot about the tattoo. And I cant imagine many people in Hungary have one there. I feel the need to explain myself, or mention it, or else it would be awkward, right?

So I say to her... "Do a lot of people have this?" Then I start pointing to my right buttcheek. She doesnt really speak English.. so I could tell by her response that she thought I was asking if she pulls down everybody's boxers. I clarify, and then realize that I forgot my tattoo is on my left buttcheek (its not like I see it every day) and kind of rephrase the question.

She gets it, and starts laughing, as she continues to work my butt, and it was awkward. Like, family-dinner-at-the-Fockers- kind of awkward.

Then she tells me to turn over, so I am laying normal, with my chest up. Then she starts to massage my legs again, and she is getting dangerously close to my package. Im sure it was normal, but I got a horrible sense of anxiety that I hope I don't get a boner. Not that I was attracted to her, but then all I could think about was boners,  precisely because I did not want to get one.

Anyway, I succeeded. No boner. I win.


Once I get out, my brother and I continue to get stared at because all men are in speedo's except us two, and basically, there almost wasn't an odd moment the entire time. Zero people spoke English, so I had to use my spanish to talk to one of the ladies who worked there to explain how it all worked.

Case and point - go to a foreign country and get a massage if you want an odd experience.

WORLDS #3 RANKED BAR:

 From the outside, it looked like a shitty building with broken glass, graffiti, and funny lights. We walked through this shady ass entrance to what looked like a hipsters paradise. Essentially, they slopped together an old antique shop and mashed it with colored lights and threw it all into an old building that was bombed in World War II. 

Basically, what Im trying to say is that it was right up our alley and we were interested, so we went in. It was a real hoot.

world's #3 bar? Thats what they say.

It was unique: dangling lights strung like a retard put them around your house on Christmas, a dingy atmosphere, and streaming 1940's silent films. All combined to make a lovely night.

Oops.

 It was weird as hell, but apparently its a tradition in Budapest to eat carrots while drinking beer. I didn't really catch all of what this carrot-selling lady had to say, but being the gentleman I was, I decided to buy one for me, jay, and some other guy who didnt't seem at all interested in having one.

FRATTING HARD IN BUDAPEST:

I was bro'ing out sooooo hard. So hard bro. 

Ball so hard.

Fords.

Workin' it outside the fratcastle

Jay and I discussing politics over the city.

Pretty much a kid on Christmas morning at the sight of these babes. Are you serious??

Right now, my life is cray. I don't have it all figured out but here's to it. Because I'm not stopping my running, and determined to live a life that is full. MAKE THAT SHIT FULL

I travel to Belgium in search of a Belgian Waffle

Best idea mom ever had.

 She says "Tom, do you want to go to Belgium tomorrow for breakfast? They are home of the Belgian waffle." I couldnt hardly contain my excitement because of the jestfulness of such an endeavor.

How silly of me to have never put two and two together.

this is the heaven that was awaiting my mouth at the restaurant

 Here's the family, pre-waffle domination

waffle domination.

does this not look like the best food ever? It was.

BEER IN THE LAND O' BEER:

Now OBVIOUSLY, no other country has ever beaten the U.S. in anything, BUT...

 if I am to make almost one exception - it would be Belgium and give them a prize for their beer. Because, if they had beer back in Jesus' time, he would have likely drank that instead of wine.

Jesus drinking beer. TFM.

Anyway, we toured this old school style beer factory - I mean, these folks bottle their beer in wooden barrels still. How boss is that? 

It receives the Tom Ford Thumb of Approval

elder Ford and I amongst the many barrels o' brew. happy as could be.

Jay and I pounding a brew from some dude who brews his own beer somewhere. 

The Famous Site:

As a side note, how funny is it that the only thing famous
to Brussels is a 1 foot high statue of a little kid
grabbing his
wanker and pissing?

Here's another one for you freaks who wanna see it up closer.

So, that concludes my trip:

 Beer... Waffles... and a Little Man pissing his heart out in front of thousands of cameras a year.


Then we went to Budapest, Hungary and just got back. We had a hell of a time drinking at what are rated the best bars in the world. What a claim. I had to check it out for myself.

Thats the next blog.

I love you all dearly.

Moved back to Germany/Update on life

Two days ago I landed in Germany, I'll be here for 5 months.

For those of you keeping up with my facebook at all, I packed one bag full of clothes, and the other I paid $75 dollars for and packed it with nothing but freedom, so it'd last me til I get back.

Damn Im gonna miss 'Murrica.

Recap of Winter:
(below the pics are my updates on life/travel)


I'll make this quick. I came back to the U.S. mainly to...

...spend time with my girlfriend

the yearly christmas weekend at nicoles.

enjoying a christmas stogie at Rockefellaaaa

...compete in a dance competition that Boston University's team asked me to join them in

 ...tutor foreign students in English, and learned the age old mystery that all asians when they give the peace sign... well.. they said it was just a "pose." your welcome for de-mystifying the world.

...and to see my little brothers 6th birthday, even though he was upset because he only got books. Just look at that lower lip.

... but then he was happy because we got to take silly pictures...

... and more silly pictures

... and more silly pictures

we took so many silly pictures that night i cant even count.

bro'd out a lil bit

*x-mas party at Malchand's = epic. I ask Mr. Malchand for more red wine. He comes back upstairs 20 minutes later and opens a bottle of burbon, because it was red. Too funny. Worst tasting shit ever. We got fucked up.

3 Updates on my life: 


(1) - I am at an interesting point in my life; I am kind of in limbo. I applied to grad schools, and am waiting to hear back. So even if I get in, I applied to schools in the Middle East, Europe, and #1. Who who knows where the hell I will be.

(If I get in, I expect a lot of beers to celebrate. If I dont get in, I expect even more beers so that I can hardly remember I even applied)

(2) - Ill be doing more traveling in Europe. In two weeks Im heading to Budapest, Hungary. I don't really know what's there yet, but I guarantee you that if there are any transvestite whores, or litre-beer drinking festivals, I will sniff them out.

(3) - It's been rough spot leaving my girlfriend back in the US. We had a wonderful time, and are still trying to work through things while I'm out here. Deciding to travel out here comes at a tole.

We just talked last night about it, and we decided to play it as things come at us. The odds have never never been on our side, but through adversity and mistakes, we have always beaten the odds.

My response to KONY 2012 criticism

I am hearing a lot of criticism about KONY 2012. My argument is that in general I am against the criticism, and pro- Invisible Children and KONY 2012.

(If you dont know what Im talking about, follow the links at the bottom of this post to find out abt it and also the criticisms)

Let me summarize the criticisms for you:

They say that there are three main issues with KONY 2012:


criticism1) That Invisible Children spends not enough of their percentage of money on strictly humanitarian aid and 


criticism 2) IC favors U.S. ground intervention of our troops.

criticism 3) IC's money is supporting other corrupt militia in Africa to take care of things.

To address criticism #1

I think is invalid... IC clearly states that one of the main solutions to this is to promote the problem. How do you do that? Well, IC has become excellent at it. They make films, they utilize young people and social networks to spread them, and they advertise. So to say that millions of dollars and half of the money they spend is wasted is not correct. Is the money DIRECTLY going to the kids? No. However, I believe that IC's argument is that if you tell millions of people in the world about the problem, THAT is the solution, and it will eventually bring governments to help solve the problem quicker, whereas if you gave 100% of proceeds to the children themselves, it would help them on the immediate term, but only more and more funds would need to endlessly come in. So, IC is making the best of both words. They are sending millions in to help the kids, while also paying millions for awareness.

Another big problem is criticisms rarely point to better solutions. Some point to other organizations... but my question is, why do I know about IC and I dont know about them? Its because IC has paid for the advertisement, and its paying off. After all, why are we all talking about it now? They are succeeding.

To address criticism #2


I am very hesitant to say U.S. military intervention will help us. The bottom line is that sometimes it turns out good, sometimes it turns out bad. The US is hesitant because of what happened in Somalia during the Clinton administration. I wouldnt wanna lose our boys like that again.
So, I think that argument is valid. But the money thing above? I think thats from people that dont understand how to market a product well, while also directly helping the problem at hand.

To address criticism #3


Im not sure if this criticism is even true at all... IC I believe has denied it completely.


The bottom line:


IC is not perfect. But I think they are on the right track. I dont think the argument about the money is a solid one for the reasons mentioned above.

Please feel free to respond, and I will post your responses on this page for all to see.

Heres the links:

IC's video promoting KONY 2012: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

The criticism page: http://visiblechildren.tumblr.com.nyud.net/

Tom Ford Does London

Been depressed lately? Something missing in your life? Thought so:

Every once in a while I think about how sad it is I'm not updating you guys more regularly with my life that's so much more exciting than your normal life. jk.sorta.

Alas, I have some good updates for you:


1) No more than one day passed after I finished my GRE (done baby!) that I was on a flight to London to meet up with Trung and party hardy. Actually, I went to London twice in 2 weeks.

2)Trung was going straight picture-silly with that profesh camera he's got going on. Luckily he had a model there to use for some of his shots.

Trung's Camera is insane. This is a real picture he took of me laying on a wall next to a street lamp.

two handsome devils in front of the London eye. Look at Trung's hiar part.

3) Since I didnt drink for 6 weeks, I became just a little bit of a bitch with my tolerance. The result is I have some silly stories. Only about 45 minutes passed before I was antagonizing this gay guy that was hitting on me - I dont really know why but I was jokingly hitting on him. Then apparently he tried to lick me.

I was not aware of this.

And I seriously dont know what the hell it is about men and touching me, but this old guy starts lifting up my shirt and everything in the middle of the bar. His wife and daughter were right there too! Shame on that man. So I kissed his wife and told his daughter to take a picture.

wife of touchy drunk man

I dont even know who these people are.

look. at. that. beard. and trung mackin on some italian chick

Trung and I came back and it was Thanksgiving. We had a party at my place.



------
Aside from my travels,

Work at the military base has been downright hilarious. What I am endlessly thankful for is the jokebags I work with. Im telling you, this stellar collection of individuals is worth a mention. Especially the tall black man I refer to as Caveman, who has no teeth and talks to me all the time.

I just laugh and laugh and laugh. Im not sure if he's telling any jokes, but I think he appreciates it.

Theres this other man Jeremiah who ONLY wears 3 things; a Green Lantern jersey, a Superman jersey, and a Punisher jersey. Yes, jerseys. All complete with matching belts. He tells me I look like I superhero every day. In fact, he calls me Thor to my face. He doesn't even know my real name.

Sol is a sweet old Filipino woman Im in love with. She is about 50 or 60 and awesome. I hit on her all day and in return she brings me in food.

Then I get seriously hit on by some army wife who's husband is in Afghanistan non-stop. I try not to dabble in that yard. When she fb friends me when I come back to the states Im gonna have to delete this so she doesnt see it.

Heres one more random pic taken in London of the pretty christmas lights, that has nothing to do with work.

 Im going to London tomorrow for a coldplay concert. So I will surely have a good update next time too

Awesome developments and traveling in Europe

My decision to stay here was a good call. Kinda like Mike Vick giving up murdering dogs.
Kinda like Jordan not giving up on basketball even after he was cut from the team in high school.
Kinda like our boys finally murdering Osama Bin-a-little-bitch- Laden.

Check out all these changes going on:

1/2 )I went to a professional soccer game in Germany. Kaiserslautern vs some team.

Check off the list yelling random chants I dont know in the EU

                      This is my video I took from my iphone of the game. It was insane loud. Folks were going crazy straight up spittin' out Germany phrases that probably didn't mean anything and who were more drunk than even I usually am at a sporting event I care about.


1) I chose what grad schools I'm applying for, when Im taking the GRE (on Nov 18), and... well, and that I am starting to go hard studying. Call me Nerdman Ford from here out folks - I'm strapping on my thinking cap and going to work.

2)I got a job! Particularly significant is that now I can stay in Europe for more than 90 days (for the year, actually). Its as an overnight warehouse stocking position or something like that - guaranteed to encounter creepy people that I work with, resulting in unimaginable debacles I will soon find myself in. I start on the 12th! I'm pumped, son.

3) Trung bought his ticket  to come over here, and he will arrive the night I get done the GRE, so it'll be party time and we're heading to Spain, Portugal, and Croatia.

4) I just traveled to Strasbourg, France a few days ago. I had my first CouchSurfing experience. (If you dont know what that is - you basically stay at someones place for free that you dont know, and prearrange it through a site online).

Better yet, when we met him - he walked up smoking what looked like a joint, dressed in rags, and I knew it would yet again be a fantastic trip and BETTER YET, he had a party for us to go to that night - a couchsurfing party!

thing I love about Europe: so much outdoor seating in beautiful cities

the "ill" river, which runs around the city

a dashing shot of me, not realizing a photo is being taken, in front of the tower we climbed the next day

Call me an artist, because this is a damn beautiful photo.

So we went to the party and met a bunch of people from all over the world - there were 50 people there, about 25 from France and 25 from all over the world, and I have some funny pictures. The common language was English, and most spoke French. We brought so much beer - everyone did.  It was like the Oktoberfest of France.

Funny situation:

So I was working the room, and was all tuckered out by the end of the night. I had a really funny situation with this girl that I didnt realize she thought we were flirting (which I have no idea how because it was like 3 am and I was nearly sleeping while talking to her). You know how french girls give 2 kisses on the opposite sides of the cheek when they said hi and bye? ...wellll....

When I went to say bye, I went to give her a kiss on the cheek, and she thought that I was trying to kiss her on the lips (I guess?), so I think she kissed me on like...I dont know - it wasn't my lips - buttt, it was an awkward place that wasnt my cheek either, nor really my lips - I don't know. It was noticeably weird - for some reason everyone was watching.

THEN I thought it might have been a fluke (plus I was half-drunk so didnt register immediately), so I go to give her a kiss on the other side, and she nearly lunged for my face to kiss me. I feel a little bit bad, because all their names were so hard I can't even remember which one she was. Or where she was from. But I think it was like... Greece, or something. It might have been Turkey.

my first cigarette i rolled

me, pre-smoking with all of the europeans

the host of the party. a sure goon

Am I the only one that sees that outstanding uni-brow that guy is working?

Then the next day we climbed to the top of a church

Now Im just studying me arse off!

Here's to the good times! Slanche!!