Today I woke up at 7 pm. WHAT. 7 pm? really? thats what I said. aparently my body was tired or something. I know going to bed at 4 AM was bad, but really? My body has risen to new heights of laziness/tireddom, and my plans were foiled today- which consisted of a nice bikeride while my mom was at work, possibly a picnic, and reading a book under a tree. what a joke.
Shortly after I woke up, my mom came from from work at like 7:45 pm. We went out to dinner with a guy who would be the one to take me on a fishing trip, a guy who I would help chop logs (at my consent), and who would take me to Oktoberfest. When we arrived and I saw a man get out of a new jeep, with a beard that was anything but new, and a sleeve of tattoos highlighted by a blue flaming skull, I knew I would be in good hands. The dinner was equally as hilarious, from his stories is his brother doski'ing up some dude with a monkey wrench, to his days of getting a full scholarship in college after jokingly applying for a ping pong free ride - and got it - to his years in the military. I now know this is indeed going to be a fun summer, especially even the times I will not be traveling. As long as that dude is around - Greg is his name. Also, my burger was like 10 inches in diameter. No joke - check out the picture. Im still baffled.
When I got home, I skyped with my friend Dima from Jordan. She is working there in a grassroots organization, and has similar life aspirations, such as working "small" then eventually going into policy. We talked about jobs, what direction to go (she offered up suggestions) and somehow I felt like I was more lost than when I started. Its easy to feel that way when you dont really know what you are getting into and dont feel like theres time to find out. People keep offering me ideas, but when is there time to pursue? Am I just being too lazy? Days keep passing and I wonder what I have done to advance myself. People keep saying "are you job searching?" "have you put your CV to this and this place" I want my answer to be yes but I dont know why it isnt. I am reading about working, and emailing people, but not applying, damnit. Maybe Im spending too much other time on things - like blogging. bahhh
But I did read more of Half The Sky - and every time I read about these people with the exact same ambitions to help sexually abused women as I do, it keep stirring that things inside of me. I pray every morning for the holy spirit to stir inside of me, to talk to me, to touch me. And every time I read about these women who face so many troubles and who have no rights, who are beaten and raped, that thing stirs inside of me. Not just remorse, but a call to action. I hear the calling, but cant figure out who - or what - is doing the calling. I feel as though maybe its God tapping me on the shoulder, and then doing to fiercely that he is stirring the cauldron inside me - and preparing me for action. But then again - I wonder when I wont just be prepared, I wonder when I will go. I hate how people talk about going and dont ever actually go out and do anything. I dont want to just talk - I want to do. Dima gave me some important advice though - dont be in a rush. Maybe get a job, get financially stable - THEN find your calling, and youre allowed to be picky with finding the perfect organization, and just volunteer for them. Maybe thats my route. I hope I can find it. Inshallah: God willing.
The beastly burg.
For the record, Im proud for eating half.
Well...almost half
When I got home, I skyped with my friend Dima from Jordan. She is working there in a grassroots organization, and has similar life aspirations, such as working "small" then eventually going into policy. We talked about jobs, what direction to go (she offered up suggestions) and somehow I felt like I was more lost than when I started. Its easy to feel that way when you dont really know what you are getting into and dont feel like theres time to find out. People keep offering me ideas, but when is there time to pursue? Am I just being too lazy? Days keep passing and I wonder what I have done to advance myself. People keep saying "are you job searching?" "have you put your CV to this and this place" I want my answer to be yes but I dont know why it isnt. I am reading about working, and emailing people, but not applying, damnit. Maybe Im spending too much other time on things - like blogging. bahhh
But I did read more of Half The Sky - and every time I read about these people with the exact same ambitions to help sexually abused women as I do, it keep stirring that things inside of me. I pray every morning for the holy spirit to stir inside of me, to talk to me, to touch me. And every time I read about these women who face so many troubles and who have no rights, who are beaten and raped, that thing stirs inside of me. Not just remorse, but a call to action. I hear the calling, but cant figure out who - or what - is doing the calling. I feel as though maybe its God tapping me on the shoulder, and then doing to fiercely that he is stirring the cauldron inside me - and preparing me for action. But then again - I wonder when I wont just be prepared, I wonder when I will go. I hate how people talk about going and dont ever actually go out and do anything. I dont want to just talk - I want to do. Dima gave me some important advice though - dont be in a rush. Maybe get a job, get financially stable - THEN find your calling, and youre allowed to be picky with finding the perfect organization, and just volunteer for them. Maybe thats my route. I hope I can find it. Inshallah: God willing.
Inshallah :)
ReplyDeletegreat tom...i love it
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