As we arrived at Oktoberfest, after stuffing myself with a donor-kabob for breakfast, I knew it was going to be an awesome day. The smell of beer when we walked in was exhilarating - beer everywhere. If beer was wine then JESUS HIMSELF would not even know what to do with himself. Almost every person was dressed up, youll see what I mean in the pictures.
We walk throughout the place, it was massive - like a giant carnival. There are like 15 huge tents - the size of half a football field, all packed to the brim with people getting beer and food. mostly beer, por su puesto. Top Spot Tom was in full form - out of the thousands of people I straight up pulled an Ace out of my back pocket and landed us an up-front seat at a table so we could get served.
Our first set of brews
With new friends I met
I got plastered quick.
They serve brews in 1 liter mugs. I was that guy in our group who got tanked when everyone else was sober. The woman that was divorced 5 times was staying sober - but somehow made out with someone when even I didnt that day (what are the odds?). The other 2 guys I were with said theyd get drunk, but I was the only one who manned up and actually did it.
The woman: We sat next to the first woman that gave me hope in life for my future wife -you see, I often wonder how much its gonna suck if your wife gets ugly. (I think I only date girls seriously if their mom is good looking. you know - good genes for the future) jk. But there was this woman who I wish I could have talked to (she didnt "shpreken ze engleesh," damnit) or else I would have told her (due to Beer Mouth) that she had the best rack Ive ever seen for a 35/40 year old. Heres what I mean:
I met a lot of people, ran into a friend randomly, and had a drunken hell of a time. Best was the ending. The liederhosen (the things the guys wear that are like the pants-ish things with suspenders-ish things.) Well, I bought the cheap shit - so mine broke and came un-done.
Story told short - I was doski'd by time 10pm rolled around and it started pouring. I stole a 1 liter mug of brew (in picture below) in one of their nice mugs, used a friend as a decoy to get the police off my back(true) , and booked it. Pants falling down (no more buttons on them, flap on front where crotch is falling down) then got soaked to the bone...
However, I did manage to get one picture as it started raining of me and my brew I took
I lost all of my friends, and took the subway home, everyone thought it was hilarious bc i was soaked and carrying a stolen 1 liter beer mug filled with brew with barely any pants on. literally it was embarrassing. people were seriously laughing.
I got lost when I got off and drunkenly felt lonely, then my super drunk senses kicked in and I found my way back to the hotel alone - stumbled in, and...
READ THIS:
I walk in to the hotel, pants nearly half off trying to hold them up, crotch and boxers exposed cuz of the unbuttoned flap, stumbling drunk while still holding my brew mug with some left, wobbling. There was a group of Muslims there, and you should have seen the look on their faces right in front of me.
They were floored that such a wretched man had just walked in...
Mouth agape...
Eyes wider than that bitch of a center that played for North Carolina a few years back... (tyler hansboro)
Apalled at the site of me.
I stood, swaying in front of them, beer in hand and sopping wet, and said....
....
...
"Um...
As-Salaimu Alaikum..." (a greeting of peace to muslims, which i wholeheartedly meant).
The womans jaw dropped even further and she mouthed to me...
"wa... wa alaikum as salam" (the return phrase of peace and greeting)
but Im sure she meant to say "my God... he is going to hell."
If you could please possibly imagine that scene in your mind right now, it was greatly hilarious. Even at the moment.
I dont feel bad about it. Im pretty damn sure that was impressive as all hell to be able to whip out that phrase, out of honest respect, at that state I was in.
Heres another boobies pictures. Its embarrassing how many picture I took of her. she knew i was doing it. oh jeez.
We walk throughout the place, it was massive - like a giant carnival. There are like 15 huge tents - the size of half a football field, all packed to the brim with people getting beer and food. mostly beer, por su puesto. Top Spot Tom was in full form - out of the thousands of people I straight up pulled an Ace out of my back pocket and landed us an up-front seat at a table so we could get served.
I got plastered quick.
They serve brews in 1 liter mugs. I was that guy in our group who got tanked when everyone else was sober. The woman that was divorced 5 times was staying sober - but somehow made out with someone when even I didnt that day (what are the odds?). The other 2 guys I were with said theyd get drunk, but I was the only one who manned up and actually did it.
The woman: We sat next to the first woman that gave me hope in life for my future wife -you see, I often wonder how much its gonna suck if your wife gets ugly. (I think I only date girls seriously if their mom is good looking. you know - good genes for the future) jk. But there was this woman who I wish I could have talked to (she didnt "shpreken ze engleesh," damnit) or else I would have told her (due to Beer Mouth) that she had the best rack Ive ever seen for a 35/40 year old. Heres what I mean:
Read above for why I posted this,
all of you men who just skipped to the boobies pictures
I met a lot of people, ran into a friend randomly, and had a drunken hell of a time. Best was the ending. The liederhosen (the things the guys wear that are like the pants-ish things with suspenders-ish things.) Well, I bought the cheap shit - so mine broke and came un-done.
me and girl I dont recall wearing the traditional clothes
Story told short - I was doski'd by time 10pm rolled around and it started pouring. I stole a 1 liter mug of brew (in picture below) in one of their nice mugs, used a friend as a decoy to get the police off my back(true) , and booked it. Pants falling down (no more buttons on them, flap on front where crotch is falling down) then got soaked to the bone...
I lost all of my friends, and took the subway home, everyone thought it was hilarious bc i was soaked and carrying a stolen 1 liter beer mug filled with brew with barely any pants on. literally it was embarrassing. people were seriously laughing.
I got lost when I got off and drunkenly felt lonely, then my super drunk senses kicked in and I found my way back to the hotel alone - stumbled in, and...
READ THIS:
I walk in to the hotel, pants nearly half off trying to hold them up, crotch and boxers exposed cuz of the unbuttoned flap, stumbling drunk while still holding my brew mug with some left, wobbling. There was a group of Muslims there, and you should have seen the look on their faces right in front of me.
They were floored that such a wretched man had just walked in...
Mouth agape...
Eyes wider than that bitch of a center that played for North Carolina a few years back... (tyler hansboro)
Apalled at the site of me.
I stood, swaying in front of them, beer in hand and sopping wet, and said....
....
...
"Um...
As-Salaimu Alaikum..." (a greeting of peace to muslims, which i wholeheartedly meant).
The womans jaw dropped even further and she mouthed to me...
"wa... wa alaikum as salam" (the return phrase of peace and greeting)
but Im sure she meant to say "my God... he is going to hell."
If you could please possibly imagine that scene in your mind right now, it was greatly hilarious. Even at the moment.
I dont feel bad about it. Im pretty damn sure that was impressive as all hell to be able to whip out that phrase, out of honest respect, at that state I was in.
lol.. drink in moderation? lmao
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